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How to Manage Jealousy

from: Guest Speaker - KV Gautam

If we are jealous towards someone then it shows our insecurity. No one is perfect and it's perfectly natural to feel jealousy towards people who seem to be better than you. However, remember it's your life and you are as unique as anyone else. Become original and don't try to copy anyone. Be yourself. We all are meant to follow our own certain paths and if we keep copying others it will not help us at all. It's better that we stick to our lives without feeling resentment or jealousy towards anyone. It will only hurt ourselves by spoiling our mood. The subject of our jealousy will not feel bad at all.

Many people keep feeling jealous of others without making any effort to improve their own lives. It's a bad strategy. Improve your own life and achieve things you want. This way you will become satisfied with your own personal and professional growth and then you will not feel any need to feel jealousy towards other people. It pays to be focused in your own life instead of keeping a tab on the progress of others. Take care of your own life and stay away from petty feelings like jealousy.

We should know that we are all unique. We were born alone and we will leave the world alone. Then there is no need to compare ourselves with others. We should take advantage of our strengths while ignoring our weaknesses. Don't forget that even if you think that some other person is better than you it's not going to stop you from achieving your full potentials. We all humans are given natural talents and strengths that most of us are not fully aware of. Once you find your strengths look for goals that fully utilize your strengths. It's no use regretting lacking a single skill while ignoring all other capabilities we have. If you feel you lack a certain skill set which is stopping you from achieving your goals then get trained in that. If you lack any technical skill then you can easily get trained. If you feel you lack good communication skills then you can learn the same in any of programs provided by professional institutes.

If you are focused on realizing your own dreams and reaching your goals then you will not feel jealous of other people who are doing well in their lives.

Stop comparison with others

If you want to get rid of jealousy then you must stop comparing yourself with others. All people have their circumstances, challenges and fears. One person should not be compared to the other simply because we all are different individuals.

Instead of comparing one person with another we should focus on good things of all people. If you stop comparing yourself with others then you will feel no need to feel jealous of other person's success. Compare yourself with only what you were yesterday. Compete with yourself. Be focused on improving yourself and you will grow. If you compare yourself with others then instead of growing you will feel miserable. If you feel that the other person is more successful than you then have a second thought. Success is a very subjective thing. Many a times we look at a person and feel that that person is successful. However, when we have a close look we realize that that person may not be as successful as we think. Many times we judge success on the base of money alone. It's a mistake. Many rich people are unhappy and sad. Success has to be much more than just money.

If you can't stop yourself from comparing to others then you should take time and sit with a calm mind. You may realize that there are many better things about you compared to that person you feel jealous of. You will realize that you are better than him or her in many aspects. Comparing yourself with another person without understating that person is a futile and misleading exercise.

Love yourself

If you love yourself enough you will have no bad feelings about other people doing well in their lives. We feel jealous mostly when we feel we are not doing enough in our lives. If you are doing well then you would feel no reason to feel jealous of others.

Be realistic

Be realistic about various factors, including success levels of all of us. If you feel that some other person is doing better than you then you should realize that that person may not be doing well in lots of other aspects of his life. Don't just assume than another person is in a better position than you. Even if someone is in a better position it doesn't take away whatever good things you have in your life.

Success is subjective

We should also understand that success is a subjective term. One person's success may be another person's failure. Fifty five percent marks in an examination may be success for a weak student but disappointment for a brilliant student. We should understand that since we all are very different from each other we have to focus on our work, and not keep comparing ourselves with others.

Many times a loser suddenly becomes a big success. On the other hand, a successful person may dramatically fail. Success is not permanent, just like failure.

Write it down

If you feel you can't stop feeling jealous of a person then you should try to write down why you feel jealous of that person and also write down why you are better than him or her in other ways. Once you have written it down you will realize that suddenly you are feeling less jealous of him or her. As you have brought the thoughts out of your mind you will feel better.

KV Gautam is a top motivational speaker based in New Delhi, India.

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