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Building Up Your Self Esteem

from: JIm Holden - staff Writer

When children first get exposed to a group setting, like that of pre-school or a play area where there are lots of other kids, it won’t be a surprise if they suddenly buckle down and turn shy. Often you, as a parent, will have to coerce the child to mingle. What parent would want a social wallflower for a child, right?

A lot of parents encounter this problem of having to almost push their kids into a play group just so they would socialize. More often than not, this strategy ends not with a nod of agreement from the kid, but an afternoon of bawling.

If you’ve honed your child’s self esteem early on, socializing will not be a problem for him or her. In fact, if you’ve taught your kid not to be afraid of other kids and to believe that he or she can do many things and that taking risks are a part of life, seeing him minble, speak for himself, and make his own decisions will be part of your child-rearing achievements.

Most kids are hesitant to go out into the world and prefer to hide under their parents’ guidance. However, as they get older, this kind of attitude is not something you should encourage. Your kid has to learn to be independent at some point. You are assured that your kid will be fine if you arm him or her with self esteem.

How is self esteem built in children? Here are some tips.

a. Encourage him or her to get out of his or her comfort zone.

A kid that’s too sheltered all his life, that is, you’re always there to do things for him and make him stick strictly to a daily routine, then you can count on seeing him or her just stand in the corner and cry when something out of the routine happens. Give him or her variety. Expose him to new ideas and allow him to wander.

b. Realize that you can’t protect your child forever.

The only way for kids to effectively learn and adapt to life’s harsh realities is if we allow them to make mistakes. While we don’t want to see our kids get hurt and disappointed, failure is often necessary in order for them to learn how to cope. Mistakes are a natural part of life. No matter how hard you try to shield them from error, children will inevitably face the mat some point in their lives.

c. Leave him to his element.

Don’t force what you want on your child – he was not born to fulfill the dreams you weren’t able to reach. Let him develop into the person he is meant to be, with you just staying in the sidelines to guide him along the way. Accept that your child has his own identity. Let him grow and flourish at his own pace and at his own time.

The above are just a few of the things that you can do to boost your child’s self esteem. You have to first believe in your child’s ability to think for himself before you can convince him or her that he or she can do it. How high your kid’s self esteem can reach will depend on your encouragement. Parenting is a difficult job and there is no single and clear-cut way to emerge victorious. However, you will already feel as if you have succeeded if your child is confident enough to face the world.



 

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Great video on self esteem by an acknowledged expert Brian Tracy!