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Where To Start Developing Your Self-Confidencefrom: Jim Holden - Staff Writer
It is fair to say that everything in our lives had its foundation during our childhood. That particular time is the first point in our lives where we begin to learn that life is a great adventure (or misadventure), and usually also the time when we start to understood that living is a mixture of different events, some of which we understand, and some of which we do not understand.
This is the time of our life when we have become accustomed to the stresses and strains of day to day living, but also the innate possibilities in life that we face. The complexities, the simplicity of life, everything stems from our childhood.
Like most people, you might have noticed that you are not most fearful as a child, but you have probably found instead that your fears have only manifested themselves when you became more aware of the dangers in life as you got older. You were not even afraid of falling until someone told you that it actually hurts, and until you felt it for yourself.
That was when fear started to develop, but prior to that it was your self-confidence which was the emotion uppermost in your mind.
There are those who would argue that you were confident only because you knew nothing about being hurt, or of becoming a failure. That is certainly one possibility, but it still does not take away from the fact that you had an in built supreme self confidence that you somehow lost during your misadventures with life. Having said that, we can then say that in the same way we can redevelop our self confidence.
Developing your self-confidence is a matter of knowing firstly where you stand at the outset. Your plan of action should be clear in your head, so that your mind can be given the paths to regaining your self-esteem. You cannot set yourself an ultimate and desirable destination, if you do not know the steps along the way to arrive at it, so you have to know where you are starting out from, before you even get to your desired point.
It may seem an easy thing to evaluate yourself, yet this may be the most critical part of the whole exercise. In the evaluation stage, you have to be totally honest with yourself and focus only on those points that will show you the truth. In other words, self deception is a pointless exercise.
When people begin to try and redevelop their self-confidence, they still have the baggage that they had in the past, and they tend to overlook what truly lies within themselves. Their hopes then are overshadowed with negative and self doubting thoughts such as assuming that nothing will turn out to be good in the end, so why bother even trying!
You should know better than to believe in that, set out to look onwards and upwards, and above all be positive!
Though both of the following may be used as your motivating factors in developing your self confidence, one of them may cause you to fail. It is the case that self criticism differs largely from self evaluation, because of the different attitude by which you view things.
These two will both expose your flaws and also your good points, yet self criticism will always be a much harsher standpoint in the evaluation of yourself. For example, once we had gathered everything together, and started labeling each of our attributes with either apositive or negative mark, we would find that with self-criticism, most of these would be negative.
Self evaluation, on the other hand, tells us to be more aware of the good points that we do have, and to begin to become confident of developing those that we do not have.
In many ways we become more judgmental of ourselves when we use criticisms in evaluating our attributes, but the road towards redeveloping your self confidence does not stop by simply knowing your good points and your bad points, it also needs you to take some actions before anything tangible can be achieved.
These actions are not limited only to the physical, but also to those actions that would only come from your mind, and in a vague way we can define what this motivation is.
Your mind must decide the limitations of what your physical body is able to do, in order to be able to develop your self confidence, although many would say that we can regain our self confidence by doing things that we are really good at, which would have the effect of boosting our egos in a very stimulating manner.
That also would mean that when we start to develop our skills and talents, other people would find out about them, which is inevitable if you stop and think about it. No matter how isolated you feel that you are in your own environment, unless you are living in a cave somewhere, people will find out what is new in your life, so make sure that you are very good at doing anything in which you have the potential to become excellent.
That is one sure way towards regaining your self confidence, because
not only would such activities divert you from focusing only on any shortcomings that you may have, they would also help you to develop a much more interesting personality.