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Counselling Confidence Article
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Build Your Self Confidence With Someone Else To Help Youfrom: Motivated Lifestyle - Archive Material
Putting your trust in the hands pf someone else is one thing that many people would not dare to risk, but equally, a considerable number of others are pretty confident that things would work ot well when they are done by other people.
These are two very opposite beliefs that one has to deal with, and there are of course pros and cons to these, just as there will always be negative and positive aspects in every choice which has to be made in life. The key here is to hit the balance somewhere in the middle.
In this article we will try to focus more on the dangers, and also on the potential harm of trusting the build up of your self confidence to another person.
Many people only gain a boost to their self-confidence when other people have noticed their ability to carry out particular tasks properly. Although many people might benefit from this perspective, we still cannot deny the fact that we are often so wrapped up with our own lives, that we frequently do not appreciate the talents and abilities of other people. This is especailly true when the other person is not much of a public figure.
Over and above this factor, we do all have our own struggles to deal with, so often, concern about the lack of capabilities or otherwise of other people, are frequently pushed to the back of our minds.
If people do not notice you, it does not necessarily mean that you have no talents, nor that you do not measure up to the expectations of the world around you. It usually only means that they are too busy leading their own lives, so it is important that you do not over emphasise the attention of these people as your only basis in gaining your self-confidence.
We all have encountered the old adage that misery loves company. You cannot build up solid grounds for your self-confidence, when all the while the person you are talking to is also expressing how low their own self-confidence is. You might well cheer each other up at times, but this is not usually the case.
You can be pretty sure that when you open your mouth, the other person will only absorb your miseries and add them to his own, and therefore probably leave you feeling a much less self confident person than you are now.
There are many people who seem to think that it is their mission in life to inflict other people with negative thoughts, and overall doom and gloom. There are those who only seem to thrive after having thought up a better idea to cause the downfall of some poor soul, and it does without saying, that associating with such people will most definitely do you no good at all.
These people neither help you to build up your self-confidence nor will they care very much for your overall welfare or happines. In the beginning they might well appear to be the most caring and considerate people that you are ever likely to meet, but do beware, as you will probably discover that they are not there to give you joy, but rather that they are there to pull you anywhere but upwards.
So make sure that you stay away from such people! There is no basic rule for identifying them however, you just have to use your best judgement.
How many times has it been the case that someone making an unfair or biased judgement against you, has done a great deal to damge your belief in yourself. It is a fact of life that most parents often make unfair judgements on their children, even though they love them dearly, and only want the best things in life for them.
There is no harm in this really, but if and when they step over the line of being healthy advisors, it would then be time to hesitate and evaluate fully what possible harmful effects are being caused to their children.
If you inflict your own biased opinions on your children, it is like coercing them into being afraid of you. There are much better ways to encourage the healthy and balanced development of your children, so do take time to reflect on your relationship with them, it will pay you dividends in the long run.